Are Americans suffering a friendship crisis?

NOTE FOR PLANNING PURPOSES: JULY 30 IS INTERNATIONAL FRIENDSHIP DAY AND AUGUST 4 IS NATIONAL FRIENDSHIP DAY 

Contact for reporters:

Stacy Nick
[email protected]

Note to journalists: Assistant Professor Natalie Pennington is available for interviews. Photos and infographics are also available. An episode of CSU’s The Audit podcast featuring a conversation with Pennington is also available for media use.

A new two-year study led by Colorado State University Communication Studies Assistant Professor Natalie Pennington and the American Friendship Project finds we have more friends than previously believed, but we’re longing for greater closeness to them. 

In the survey — featured in the journal PLOS ONE — approximately 98% reported having at least one friend, with 58% reporting having five or more friends. 

“While other studies have focused on ‘close’ friendships, we’re capturing a person’s broader social network, and the results offer a greater understanding of who we call friends,” Pennington said. “What we are seeing is that people are satisfied with the number of friends they have, but they wish they had more time to spend with them.” 

The study — conducted along with University of Kansas Communication Studies Professor Jeffrey Hall and Michigan State Communication Professor Amanda Holmstrom — is the result of three surveys from the AFP, two national samples of American adults in 2022 and 2023 and a large sample of college students across three universities in 2022. The AFP was created with the goal of being an accurate and complete account of American friendship, as well as its health and change over time. 

Is friendship in peril? 

Friendship is critical for individuals’ well-being, but recent efforts to characterize Americans’ friendships suggest that these relationships are in peril. However, a key finding from the AFP investigation runs against that pessimism: only 1.8% of respondents considered themselves friendless. 

“In this study, we gave participants the chance to define friendship for themselves, which helped capture a broader range of people we connect with,” Pennington said. 

While past work has often excluded them, the AFP found that 18% of Americans named family members (e.g., sibling, parent) as friends, and 23% named their significant other (e.g., spouses) as a friend. 

“Friendship is a special kind of relationship; people get to define and shape it in ways that make sense to them,” Pennington said. “Our study reflects that diversity of meaning.” 

Satisfied, but wistful and longing 

One of the more surprising findings of the study was that 75% of Americans were satisfied with the number of friends they have, but only 56% were happy with the time with friends, and 40% longed for more closeness.

“One of the biggest challenges of modern life is finding the time it takes to enjoy the relationships you have,” Hall said. 

People have a tough time prioritizing friendship, he said, noting that 36% of Americans said they were having trouble maintaining their friendships. Although survey results showed that face-to-face meetings, telephone calls and text messaging were all quite common, Americans longed for more. 

One of the most interesting findings was that 51% of Americans felt it was difficult to make new friends, and 62% said it was easier to make friends at another time in their life. College students and adult samples reported similar attitudes and experiences with friendship overall. 

“Surprisingly, this cut across the ages,” Holmstrom said. “No matter what age you were, you felt that in some other time of life it was easier to make friends.” 

It is challenging to keep our friendships in good health as adults, and the challenge of making new friends is a struggle for young and older adults alike, she said. 

Why study friendship? 

Friendship may seem like an unlikely area for research, but according to Pennington, it’s one whose time has come.  

“There are many studies on family or romantic relationships, but there’s less done on the subject of friendship,” she said. “I think the pandemic really showcased just how valuable friendship and social interaction are for our well-being.” 

The AFP is an annual survey of social connection in the U.S. reporting on several critical facets of social health as it relates to friendship, including the structural factors of friendship (e.g., who are they, how many); friendship quality (e.g., satisfaction, closeness); and social support from friends. 

In addition, the survey is a rich source of data that can be used to answer many questions about friendship and its connection to health, Pennington said. 

“This study is valuable for people interested in knowing where Americans met their friends, how frequently they communicate with their friends, whether they’ve met new friends or lost old ones, and how happy they are with their friendships.”